What should you answer if you are an NFL sports celebrity

THE WHAT SHOULD YOU ANSWER BOOK

A different perspective to the famous Proust/Pivot/Lipton questionnaire; a way to tackle the questions with a cheat sheet. Use this shortcut if you have no bloody idea what to say.

What should you answer if you are an NFL Sports Celebrity

Where would like to be right now?

At the Super Bowl, throwing Gatorade on the coach.

Who is your favorite NFL player?

Go to any stadium and choose any banner hanging from the rafters with the jersey numbers of retired legends. Choose anyone, they’re all on my list.

Who is indispensable in your team?

The fans.

Whom would you like to beat at the Super Bowl?

Myself.

Who or what is the greatest love of your life?

The football.

When are you happiest?

When they sing the National Anthem.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I’d like to be a kindergarten coach.

When do you lie?

When I face my opponent on the scrimmage line.

What is your favorite word?

“Touchdown!”

What is your least favorite word?

“Injury.”

What do you fear?

Fumbling the ball in my end zone.

What’s your major defect?

My obsession with the game.

What’s your greatest virtue?

My loyalty to my team.

What’s your motto?

“Life is like a Hail Mary – you’ve got to catch it to win the game.”

What’s your favorite curse word?

“Shit!”

What’s your favorite cuisine?

Southern style ribs.

What’s your favorite book?

Playing for Pizza by John Grisham.

What’s your favorite movie?

The Longest Yard with Burt Reynolds.

What don’t you like about yourself?

My inability to write what I don’t like about myself.

What trait do you most dislike in others?

I hate mockery. I hate it when the opposing team wins easily because they are blatantly favored by the referees, and they know it, and even so, they continue mocking you.

Whom do you admire?

The cheerleaders. Rain, snow, sun, sleet, win, or lose – they’re always there, cheering us on.

Whom do you despise?

Blind referees, dirty coaches and corrupt owners.

What profession, other than your own, would you to take a stab at?

I’d like to be a sports anchor for a major sports TV channel.

What profession would you never try?

I wouldn’t want to be the guy who squirts water in the player’s mouth after every down.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“On three, go wide.”

Copyright© 2008 Marco Miranda. All Rights Reserved.