THE WHAT SHOULD YOU ANSWER BOOK
A different perspective to the famous Proust/Pivot/Lipton questionnaire; a way to tackle the questions with a cheat sheet. Use this shortcut if you have no bloody idea what to say.
What should you answer if you are a Donald Trump!
Where would like to be right now?
Playing golf at Mar-a-Lago.
Who is your favorite President?
I’m the best, the rest are losers.
Who or what is the greatest love of your life?
When are you happiest?
When I tweet. I love venting, and ranting against everybody. It’s fun to see the reaction from all sides.
When are you sad?
When I walk around at night, by myself, far away from my family, in that crappy White House.
Who is your favorite person?
Who is your least favorite person?
Special Counsel Robert Mueller is getting close to being number one on that list.
When do you lie?
Never! I just say things in a different and more natural way. I say what people want to hear. That’s not lying.
What is your favorite word?
Terrific and tremendous! Just like me.
What is your least favorite word?
What do you fear?
Small crowds at my rallies.
What’s your major defect?
I’m always falling in the rough.
What’s your greatest virtue?
Being famous and being myself. I can get away with almost anything.
What’s your motto?
“Keep America Great!”
What’s your favorite curse word?
What’s your favorite book?
The Art of the Deal, written by me.
What’s your favorite movie or TV line?
“You’re fired!” from my stint on The Apprentice.
What don’t you like about yourself?
I like everything about myself. I’m a smart person, a great guy.
What trait do you most dislike in others?
I hate those sad, weak, disgusting morons who don’t believe in me.
Whom do you admire?
Fox and Friends and all those who sucker up to me, no matter what side they’re on.
Whom do you despise?
There’s a load, from Mexican bad hombres to spineless moron Republicans on the Hill. But Fake News takes the cake.
What profession, other than your own, would you to take a stab at?
I’d like to be a professional golfer.
What profession would you never try?
I’d hate to be a soccer reporter.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
“Make Heaven great again.”