What should you answer if you are a Surrealist Painter

 

THE WHAT SHOULD YOU ANSWER BOOK

A different perspective to the famous Proust/Pivot/Lipton questionnaire; a way to tackle the questions with a cheat sheet. Use this shortcut if you have no bloody idea what to say.

What should you answer if you are a Surrealist Painter

Where would like to be right now?

Inside the mind of Kafka’s character, Gregor Samsa in The Metamorphosis, turning into a large bug.

Who is your favorite painter?

René Magritte.

What is indispensable to your art?

The empty space and a bowler hat.

Who or what is the greatest love of your life?

My bathroom.

When are you happiest?

When I’m dead.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I’d like to be an idiot.

When do you lie?

When do I start?

What is your favorite word?

Callypygian.

What is your least favorite word?

Borborygmus.

What do you fear?

Seeing my paintings hanging on the Louvre walls.

What’s your major defect?

I’m can never distinguish between Egyptian and Persian blue. It drives me crazy, which is good.

What’s your greatest virtue?

I paint what others cannot see.

What’s your motto?

“Dada.”

What’s your favorite curse word?

Saperlipopette!

What’s your favorite painting?

René Magritte’s Love from a Distance.

What’s your favorite book?

The Brotherhood of Dada comic books.

What’s your favorite movie?

Luis Buñuel’s Un Chien Andalou.

What don’t you like about yourself?

The lack of color in my pee.

What trait do you most dislike in others?

Pseudo intellectuals like myself.

Whom do you admire?

Children who love to finger paint.

Whom do you despise?

Forgers.

What profession, other than your own, would you to take a stab at?

I’d like to dye and hand print Kente cloths in Ghana.

What profession would you never try?

I’d hate to be the owner of an art gallery.

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“If you try to paint me, I will send you to Hell!”

 

Copyright© 2008 Marco Miranda. All Rights Reserved.

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